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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/24481153">Bloody Magnificent</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/cloudycelebrations/pseuds/cloudycelebrations'>cloudycelebrations</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Captain America (Movies), Captain America - All Media Types, Marvel Cinematic Universe</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Addiction, Addictive Behavior, Ambiguous/Open Ending, Arson, Banned Together Bingo 2020, Banned Together Bingo Fill: Serpent Blood, Brief mention of poop, But he will be someday, Creepy, Dreams and Nightmares, Hopeful Ending, Insomnia, M/M, Magical substances, Not dreamsharing, Obsessive Behavior, POV Steve Rogers, Post-Captain America: The First Avenger, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Pre-Captain America: The Winter Soldier, References to Drugs, Sleeping Pills, Steve Rogers Is Not Okay, Winter Soldier Bucky Barnes</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-06-01</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-06-01</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-04 03:22:20</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Mature</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>2,074</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/24481153</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/cloudycelebrations/pseuds/cloudycelebrations</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Steve can't sleep. </p><p>Written for “Serpent Blood” bingo square for Banned Together Bingo 2020.<br/>Thanks so much to Ladra (https://twitter.com/ladraove) and DefilerWyrm for beta help!</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>James "Bucky" Barnes/Steve Rogers</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>10</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>22</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Collections:</b></td><td>Banned Together Bingo 2020</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Bloody Magnificent</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><ul class="associations">
      <li>For <a href="https://archiveofourown.org/users/justanotherStonyfan/gifts">justanotherStonyfan</a>.</li>



    </ul></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Steve’s motto for personal crises has always been “fake it ‘til you make it”. It started as a valid but ill-advised mantra for a small fry in the Great Depression trying to look tough, then became mandatory for a buff performer on the Army stage with no military or acting experience. His motto hardly applies to everything; he always lives his values up-front and Bucky would say Steve is a smidge loud about what he opposes. He never has to fake his morals, one of which is solving his own problems before others can find out about them. So it’s no surprise he takes the same approach with any and all internal dilemmas he acquires in his post-ice existence.</p><p>Thanks to the serum, he does not need more than three hours of sleep per night, and cannot physically sleep more than six. Not that the latter has ever been a problem. Since waking up freezing and immobile in a solid block of ice and coming to live at Avengers Tower, his total time completely asleep adds up to just about zero. Lying awake in bed, the war haunts him: the interminable sound of guns, bombs blowing dirt and bodies into the sky, the loss of Bucky and everything he stood for. This line of thought usually results in horrific sleep paralysis. Even if he drops off successfully, his analog watch shows him gone for less than ten minutes before inevitably a panic-inducing nightmare savages his shut-eye. His jaw aches from how hard he clenches it before trying to calm down. Sleep medications, like all drugs, go straight through him with no effect. </p><p>So he fakes it. But this time, he’s not making it.</p><p>Without sleep of any kind, he can last weeks under normal conditions, which for him are never normal anyway. In his first three months with the Avengers, he fights alien invaders, subdues evildoers, and upends absurd criminal plots like an unstoppable soldier. He cannot fall asleep, no matter how many nights he gives it an honest effort. By day, his wounds keep healing and his stamina endures. He goes on with his life as though he were doing fine, pushes away his dread of another night’s failure and terror, and even puts up with Tony’s innuendos. </p><p>Thor is the only one who notices his easygoing cheerfulness is entirely faked. Steve is not sure if Asgardians can read minds or if he is actually starting to wear out. He’s pretty confident his speed and accuracy remain in peak condition. </p><p>Thor roughly slaps him on the back after the latest successful villain intervention. “I am happy to call you my brother-in-arms, Steve. I see something troubling you.”</p><p>Steve tries to shrug it away. “I guess you would notice, huh? That’s thoughtful of you.”</p><p>“Think nothing of it. You may know my people possess herbs to heal nearly every condition, though it appears you may need medicine a bit stronger.” Thor narrows his eyes at Steve. “Come on, then, you can speak freely!”</p><p>“It’s nothing, Thor, just can’t sleep much these days. Too much in the ol’ noggin, I guess.” Steve knocks his fingers on his head to play it off, but Thor doesn’t laugh. </p><p>“I have seen it before. Many times. Disturbed dreams and sleepless nights plague warriors even on Asgard. We have a treatment! And I shall procure it for you. Give me one Earth week and it will be yours.”</p><p>“You really don’t have to. Don’t tell the others, okay?” </p><p>Thor continues like he did not hear him. “Its potency comes from a great Asgardian serpent’s blood. Oh, do not worry, Steve! The serpent is fine, she is very large and extracting a vial of blood does not pain her. One drop swallowed at twilight will grant you peaceful sleep and calming dreams. Never fear if you experience additional effects. They will surely be mild and may even bring you a blessing. One of my dear friends took this treatment and defecated rare minerals!” Thor’s laughter booms around them. “And, truly, his condition improved.”</p><p>Steve rubs the back of his neck bashfully. He might as well accept it even if it does not help. “Thank you, Thor. How long does the treatment last? Can a human overdose?” </p><p>“There is no need to take more than one drop per night, but I will summon a healer to ask your question. One bottle’s worth should right your body and return your mind to a sensible sleep pattern. I do not think a mortal with such an exceptional constitution like you could ingest enough to do harm. Worry not, Steve. I will return with answers and your very own bottle.” </p><p>As he returns to his apartment, Steve fantasizes about the possibility of a peaceful night’s sleep. At least he can control these daydreams, unlike the nightmares that make him watch Bucky die again and again. </p><p>He does not attempt sleep until the night after Thor returns and hands him a small purple bottle no larger than his thumb. When he cautiously unscrews it and lifts out the glass dropper, it drips purple as well. Steve listens to Thor’s explanations and thinks about what he will do if he starts shitting gold. Bucky would have loved to laugh at that.</p><p>His hopes rise. As soon as the sky darkens, Steve prepares his bed and himself, tries to clear his mind as Thor had instructed, and draws fluid into the dropper. He tries not to imagine the giant snake. </p><p>One sour-tasting drop indeed works miracles. A few minutes after his head nestles into the cool pillowcase, Steve is conked out, snug as a bug in a rug, dead to the world. He cannot move and does not want to; it’s not like being in the ice at all. Flickers of odd images move into his subconscious, and he dreams. Right away, he sees the vague outline of a long-haired man coming into focus, and then fading out again. Somehow Steve knows this has to be Bucky, though he’s never sported such a hairstyle before. He thinks about Bucky all the time anyway, so why shouldn’t he be in his happy dreams now that he can finally sleep? Steve feels like he is floating, heading forward without moving his limbs, like he’s on a conveyor belt following behind Bucky and he can’t stop. He is not perturbed by this, and Bucky does not notice or acknowledge him. </p><p>Before Steve even realizes what is happening, he gets his six hours and feels like he slept for days. He jumps out of bed refreshed, ready for the world for the first time in months. His smile at Natasha over breakfast is not forced. He whistles while he does the team’s dishes. As the whole team heads to the gym to practice fighting maneuvers together, Thor winks at him.</p><p>The next night, after taking his drop, his dreams fly right by his subconscious. There is hardly time to notice Bucky there again, seemingly sitting alone in nondescript darkness with his face partially covered in shadow, before Steve is already waking up. </p><p>So, Steve decides to try two drops the following night. Thor did say he would probably be fine, and maybe it would help him dream a little longer, capture that floating feeling of seeing Bucky again. He resolves to pay more attention to the details of the dream this time. </p><p>He takes care not to touch the dropper to his tongue and lets two drops fall. As soon as he closes his eyes, he’s under. He sees Bucky with long hair again, still from behind, fading in and out of focus. Steve tries to take in the dream’s periphery: Bucky walks up to a canary yellow house with a wrought-iron balcony on a manicured, densely developed street. Sunset colors the sky orange and pink above a tree-filled, cliffside park that borders the house’s neighboring property, and the ocean sparkles and foams far below. The gorgeous urban scenery fills Steve with peace. Bucky is clad in black with a thick leather jacket, and Steve catches a glimpse of his eyes as he turns to go through a back entrance. He still looks so much like Bucky, but not the one Steve remembers. Those eyes are impossible to mimic. </p><p>Steve wakes up, exactly six hours after he lay down. All things considered, he feels fabulous. </p><p>It’s probably just wishful thinking that he would get to dream nice things about Bucky every night now, Steve tells himself as he brushes his teeth. But he’ll take it. A vague dream about some hallucinated, long-haired version of Bucky living in a posh mansion by the sea is infinitely better than watching him fall off a train and break every bone in his body while Steve screams himself hoarse. </p><p>When Steve enters the common kitchen, Bruce is already preparing a pancake feast for the team. At first kindred souls commiserating over alien invasions and weird serum stories, now they are fast becoming pre-breakfast buddies. Steve sets the table for six and turns on the news. </p><p>One curse of the super-serum is that Steve cannot help but hear absolutely everything going on around him. The coffee machine, Bruce’s morning small talk, and the news are all flowing equally into his brain, and he can respond to all or none of them in any order, but he can’t shut them out. Bruce’s request to know what kind of pancake toppings Steve wants overlaps with the CNN reporter’s neutral voice announcing, “An American scientist was pronounced dead this morning after his vacation home was set ablaze in the Miraflores district of Lima, Peru yesterday evening. William Sanchez Carranza, the primary author of the proposed U.N. Disarmament Treaty, was visiting Lima’s American embassy to deliver a key speech to American diplomats--”</p><p>Steve thanks Bruce and asks for strawberries while turning to stare at the TV screen. Early morning drone imagery shows white smoke still pouring from the frame of a charred yellow house as firefighters put out the embers. A crowd of onlookers gathers in the nearby park, and the ocean glitters in the background. The shrubs on the balcony are black. </p><p>His eyes widen. Panicking internally, Steve has to know if this is what it seems. Should he tell Tony or Bruce so they can investigate? Would Thor cut him off from the sleep aid if he knew what Steve was seeing? Maybe if he takes more drops tonight, he can dream longer, learn if this man is actually Bucky in the real world. If Bucky is alive and somewhere he can identify, Steve can beg Tony to take him there immediately.</p><p>That night and every night after, he drinks more drops of serpent blood: four, then five, then six drops. His nightly visions of Bucky lengthen and become more complex, but the locations and details elude him. The floaty feeling becomes laced with anxiety. No matter how Steve pores over the world’s news channels and asks JARVIS for data, there are no more traces of his dream in the real world. He’s sure the man in his dream is Bucky, he has to be. Steve sleeps more than he ever has since the ice, if that counts as sleep, but feels less sane every day. Sometimes he tries for two or three sleep cycles in one 24-hour period to look for clues, to no avail. </p><p>The bottle runs out. Steve wonders how pathetic he will look asking Thor for more so soon. </p><p>Thor finds his request deeply amusing. “Oh ho! You are indeed a strapping young mortal with a taste for serpent blood! I tell you, we had such fun with it as youths in Asgard, many hundreds of years ago in your human time. Why, you should hear the tale of my brother Loki’s tricks with the serpent’s blood. Once he spiked the banquet wine to put the royal army to sleep and then toyed with their slumbering minds! Oh, how he regretted the revenge that befell him the following day. Yes, Steve, I can acquire you more.” </p><p>Steve laughs along, but it’s not really funny. He has to see Bucky again, at whatever cost, even if he only exists in dreams. </p><p>This is the only way forward. As soon as Thor returns with the vial, Steve’s going to rescue Bucky-- even if he has to sleep all day and all night to find him.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Comments are my life force. &lt;3</p></blockquote></div></div>
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